And That’s Not Even the Worst Part

I have shin splint.  It’s only my left shin so I can’t call it shin splints because that would be factually incorrect.  When you live in the most literal household on the planet, you learn to choose your words very carefully lest they be spat back at you with tenfold the intensity with which they were first spoken.  You can’t, for example, when sitting at the kitchen table paying bills say to someone “hand me that pen” when the pen in question is really a felt-tipped marker.  Because the response you will get is: “Do you mean this felt-tipped marker?  Because you said you wanted the pen and I don’t see a pen but I do see a felt-tipped marker which I am happy to hand to you if that’s what you’d like.”  LITERAL.  WE HAZ IT.

Because of my shin splint, which then turned into a slightly pulled hamstring muscle as a result of an altered running gait, I was forced to stop running outside on the concrete.  You know, I ran for years and years back in my 20’s and never had a single injury.  Not a one.  I ran 6+ miles a day, six days a week and had nary a problem.  What is it about aging that makes getting back into running so hard?  It’s like I have to baby this old body or it will revolt against me.  I hate age.

Determined to heal as quickly as I could, I read this website from Jim Haselmaier about how you can still run while recovering from this particular injury and have followed his advice religiously.  Scaling back is not easy right now, because I’m running the Katy YMCA Turkey Dash on Thanskgiving Day for the fifth year in a row and I would very much like to beat my time from the first year I ran the race (34.59, if anyone’s counting).  That requires running further and faster in order to build up.  HARD TO DO WHEN YOU HAVE SHIN SPLINT and are forced to scale back.

Nevertheless, I have persevered and scaled back and used my treadmill to ease back into running.  In order not to try and overachieve as I am wont to do, I looked up treadmill workouts and forced myself to print this one:

Jim Haselmaier, Shin splints, treadmill, workout, hamstring, running, jogging, Turkey Dash, Katy YMCA

What does it say on there?  “Beginner Treadmill Workout”.  I had been running 3.5 miles a day at a little under 11 minutes a mile (so not Speedy Gonzales but not the Tortoise either) for four days a week for over a month and I am so not a beginner.  It’s humiliating.

Yet worse?  I don’t run with my glasses on inside and my eyesight is so poor that I couldn’t even read the thing.

I hate age.




Feedback. I can handle it, promise.

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