The Douche Bagette and What Season Are We In Again?Posted: November 15, 2011
This morning was an anomaly. I needed to get Michael to school by 7:30 so that I could go back the other direction and get John to the orthodontist by 8:15, and stop back by the house in between for John to brush his teeth first. I hear you, he should have brushed before we left the house but if you have an almost 11-yr old boy you realize why that didn’t happen. Because it would have made sense.
So we are at an intersection having sat through a couple of red lights which was not unexpected. But what WAS unexpected was the car in front of me that stopped at a green light. GREEN. As in, the color that means “Go!” I’d just refereed the millionth skirmish of the day, trying to decide between Smash Mouth’s “All Star” and Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby”. You know what? When I was little you got the radio or silence. That was it. Thanks to Apple we have the iPod and now kids have 2900 and counting different songs they can ask to listen to any time (read: every.single.time) we are in the car. We could be driving from the garage to the community mailbox and I will hear “CAN WE LISTEN TO MUSIC??” Presumably because they will all die from a 10 second lack of entertainment.
I lost my point…oh wait, here it is:
I was all “…quick to the point to the point no fakin'” when I hit the brakes to avoid crashing into the car that was stopped at the green light. Not a terribly patient person when confronted with obvious stupidity, I honked my horn.
Two Four times. And the guy is still sitting there and I’m like “It’s the peddle on the right! Push it and you’ll go!” and “You waiting on an engraved invitation, pal?” and by the time I was halfway through “Did you get your driver’s license at Sears?” I saw it. The police car coming from the left trying to go through the intersection and the reason the car in front of me was stopped.
Ergo: me = douche bagette
Changing gears, I walked outside this weekend and what to my wondering eyes should appear, but this:
I keep hearing about a cool front on its way, but I don’t think I believe it. From where I sit, it might as well be July! =)